I told you that my husband has been away at his parents’ house, visiting his poorly father, well sadly he died yesterday. Although it was expected, it was still shocking news. So now in the midst of grief, my husband and his mother and sisters, are busy informing friends and family and organising a funeral. So this will be the third ‘Grandad’ funeral that Joshua will attend since December 2014. My heart goes out to my in-law family as I understand how painful this will feel and how odd it feels that the rest of the world keeps spinning, while they are mourning.
My husband asked that I tell Joshua when he woke up, as Grandad died around 4am. He wanted him to know that his Grandad loved him but that he had died and would be in heaven with my own father and ‘Yorkshire Grandad’ too. Therefore, I did tell him and hugged him when he awoke, but I am really not sure what he understood. Even though he used to say ‘granny’ and ‘nanna’, I do not recall him ever referring to his grandfathers when out of sight. Evidently, most people are ‘momma’/’mummy’ or, less often, ‘daddy’. Realistically, I am not sure quite how this loss will impact on him day to day.
The other day I was told a lovely thing : at school they use a photo of me to get a response from Joshua.Unless he is asleep,apparently whatever his mood , he will always respond excitedly to a picture of me !Oh how fabulous is that, that he has both recognition and love for me?How great is it that he can show that emotion? Crude responses these may be, but they are so meaningful. There once was a conversation between my husband and a colleague of his about Joshua’s difficulties and uncertain future And his colleague asked ‘can he show that he loves you?’ and he replied, ‘oh yes he is very loving’ and back came the matter of fact reply, form an unlikely source ‘Then that is all that matters then’. What an astute observation and, at the end of the day, that may well be true. Is it not love and caring between us that makes us human after all? I am glad to say that my in laws are being supported by a lot of love and sympathy right now, just when they need it most.