Life is what happens, while we are busy making other plans

I am delighted to report that, for the most part, Joshua slept last night despite being asleep all day! So hopefully by the end of today, he will be all caught up with his missed sleep and he will be raring to go back to school tomorrow, even with his black eye. I called his respite provision yesterday to tell them that Joshua would not be joining them and they were happy to have him today, just for one overnight, but I am expecting to keep him close by. I might have been more inclined to send him if he had lasted a third consecutive night without shutting his eyes.

This month we have lots of other things planned in and so Joshua needs to have  a clear run of health. At the end of the month I am leaving my boys together and I am flying to the USA on my own. I will be staying with my first best friend, who now lives out there with her American family. I am very excited to see her again and to meet her daughter for the first time. I am also looking forward to solo travelling and only having to be responsible for myself, which has been rare for the last 15 years. My husband and Yorkshire Grandma will be in charge of Joshua and they will do a great job between them I am sure, so I will put Joshua out of my mind, well as far as is possible, and focus upon my friend , and myself.

But I really hope that he is in rude health when it comes time to leave as it would be much more difficult to leave him behind if he is in the middle of a bad cluster of seizures or a spell of wakefulness, but that is something that I cannot control. My husband used to do a lot of international travel with his job and you could almost always guarantee on those sunday afternoons when he was about to set off, Joshua’s seizures would dip and he would have to tear himself away knowing that all was not well at home. It always made his leaving so much more painful and it happened so often, that we wondered if Joshua sensed something in the air that change was about to take place in the family dynamic. I would not be the mother that I am if I could walk away without a backward glance, saying Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.  But I know that they will enjoy some father/son time and I know that I will enjoy my break too, so everybody wins!


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