Separation Anxiety

I will be working abroad this weekend, which is a rare occurence, but I will be leaving home on Saturday morning and I am not expected back until midnight on Sunday, after a full- on weekend project. So I am having to plan both, what I need to take with me to Germany ,as well as thinking about what I need to leave in place for my husband and Joshua. They will be fine I am sure, it is just one night away, which they have managed before of course, but it is not easy, especially because Joshua has had some bad clusters of seizures this week – he was off school yesterday after needing rescue medication at school on Tuesday. – so that will make it much more difficult to leave them, as I find it hard to handover control.

I returned to work on a part time basis when Joshua was 6 months old, just three days a week initially and then when he went to school, it developed to four days a week,and I still  treasure my Friday’s off. This was my first job from university, so I have now worked there for over 28 years! I have often been asked how or why I work, when being mother and carer to Joshua is so demanding? For me, it has often been a lifeline – something that I can control – unlike Joshua’s health needs – , something that is familiar and that I am good at and something that allows me to forget being just ‘Joshua’s mum’ for a while. Of course I , like everyone else, have bad times when I regret my decision to work and wonder if life would be simpler if I didn’t, but on balance it works for us as a family.

During my normal working week, I have to be flexible, to accommodate Joshua’s health needs, as he will always be my prioirity. There are many times when I have had to rush out of my office to meet an ambulance at school after seizures or a bad fall or when I have had prolonged carers’ leave after Joshua’s surgery for instance, and I am grateful for the flexibility that I have been shown throughout his lifetime. When I went off on maternity leave back in 2001, none of us knew that Joshua was going to be more demanding than most ‘normal’ children, but the family firm that I work for have accommodated my needs and they know, I hope, that I give the most that I can at any time.

But this weekend I need to hand over the carer reins to Dad and I have to focus only on my work, as there will be nothing that I can do from Germany. I will do the best job that I can this weekend, then return as Mum  from Monday morning.

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