Let them eat cake

For the last two years, I have been organising a monthly coffee morning at school for parents to get together and we had the last one of the academic year yesterday. I have to say that I enjoyed this one more than any other this year, as it was well attended but rather than breaking up into lots of small chats, we sat around the meeting room table and all talked as a group. There were never any awkward silences and nobody was ranting, but there was plenty of give and take in the conversation, with everyone contributing. It maybe takes two years for people to build up the confidence to speak up or come on their own, without the back up of friends or family, but I really felt as though we had developed something special yesterday.

I do not really have a sweet tooth, but I recognise how happy a slice of coffee cake or a piece of gingerbread makes people and I use it straegically too. I use cake to thank people that are important to me at school : I always treat the school nurses as Joshua is so relaint on them to keep him safe at school. I always save something for the two ladies on reception too and it never fails to plaease them. The lady who makes JOshua very happy with musical input said that my shortbread was the best she had ever tasted! I have started to make cheese straws too, as I love them and find them moreish and they also went down very well. The Head enjoyed two cheese straws then begged me to take the tin away!

For me, baking, then giving cake, is a process that I enjoy : I love to make people happy with such a simple thing, so I think I can certainly be described as a ‘feeder’. That is why, when Joshua was not eating at the end of last year, I found it so distressing – not just because I could see him getting skinnier before my eyes, but because providing food is clearly part of who I am, so when he rejected my cooking, it impacted on my perception of myself too. Often when someone is sad and I cannot solve their problem, I bake them a sweet treat, as an expression of how I care for them. While some spontaneous shortbread , chocolate brownies or flapjack do not solve their problems, they certainly help to make a bitter pill more palatable.

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