I had 5 hours all to myself yesterday, which is rare and I made the most of it. As soon as I had waved Joshua off in the car with his Direct Payments worker, I grabbed my coat and went out. I went shopping to our nearest market town, where I was able to wander in and out of shops of my choice, freely. I collected some DVDs that I had had transferred off VHS videos – our wedding tape from 1995 and lots of footage of baby Joshua. I have not yet dared to look, as I am expecting some of them to be emotional as neither of our fathers are alive anymore and little fat toddler Joshua, with his young, hopeful parents, will be quite a sight too. I try not to wallow in the past too much, rather to look forwards but there are times when I need to wallow and I wanted these images to be digitally preserved.
We often take Joshua to this market town at weekends so it felt odd to be there without him or his dad. I even found myself drawn to the impressive buskers, thinking how much Joshua would enjoy their music. I deliberately went into shops that he would not tolerate or that were not accessible, just because I could.
After browsing, I then went to my friend’s boutique where we had a perfect combination of each up dating each other on events in our lives and of me trying on clothes. We gossiped and we giggled and I had a lovely afternoon. sharing with someone who understands our struggles due to her having an autistic son. The last time I went to her shop, I had Joshua in tow and we lasted ten minutes as he was throwing cushions and pulling clothes off the racks, so this was a much more fun, relaxing experience.
The time flew by in her shop, so much so that I was only home ten minutes before Joshua arrived back from his outing. He had been out in sea air and so, soon after arriving home, he enjoyed an apple then we snuggled on the settee, while tea was cooking. A couple of hours later, friends arrived for an evening meal. Joshua said hello then retreated to the Den, but he did keep coming out to see what he was missing and he joined us, with encouragement, for homemade lasagne.
So I spent my Saturday with good friends, both with and without Joshua and I really felt as though I made the most of my DP weekend break too. I had got Joshua ready , with his boots on, early and he spent the ten minutes waiting time, at the front door, kicking it, ready to go out – which he has never done at home before. I tried distracting him but he was very clearly communicating what he wanted and when she arrived, he dashed out of the door towards the car, giggling. So that arrangement is clearly working for him now, no more shyness with her, which is lovely to see. Today I plan to visit another friend for lunch, so we will see how cooperative he is there, although we have not yet decided where we will eat, but she has already suggested ‘Donalds’ to make Joshua happy! Lets see how it goes, I am hoping that we can go somewhere nicer but it is good to know that we have it as a back-up plan to employ if necessary. So bring on friendly day, part 2…….