I have probably mentioned before that I am lucky enough to have had five best friends in my life, each from different stages of my life : my first from my primary school days who now lives in Texas, my second from High school days who has not moved far from where we grew up, my third from my time as a student who now lives in California, my fourth from when Joshua was a baby and my fifth from Joshua’s time at special school. Even though two of the five are in America, we still manage to sustain our close friendship with letters and emails being regularly exchanged between us. I went to Texas to visit my first best friend three years ago but I have not seen my second or third for several years.
With a really good friend, who knows you well, it is not necessary to meet face to face all the time, so long as you have some communication between you to keep the friendship alive. But when you do meet up, it is as though the years fall away and we simply picked up where we left off, which is a precious thing. When I went to Texas, I had not seen my childhood best friend for many years, yet there we were drinking tea early in the morning, before the rest of the household had woken up, putting the world to rights and reminissing about happy days growing up in Scotland.
It makes me rather sad that Joshua will never experience close friendships like I treasure. He will not share secrets with a peer or stand up for his friend when they need defending. In my experience he will be missing out on something really special and something that makes a big difference in my life. I have several places that I can go to if I am angry or upset and I know that I will have 5 sympathetic ears that will listen to me and will take my side, but he sadly does not have that in his life. He does have a few friendships but they are not about confiding, they are largely about affection and fun, and perhaps that is what he needs from a friend.
I do not think that Joshua feels sad that he is missing out, I have often said that our dogs are his best friends, and so I should not feel disappointed that this is yet another thing that he has been deprived of. So for now I will continue to develop and get as much as I can from my best friendships . I am lucky enough to have many additional friends and that pool is still growing I am delighted to say; one of them even teased me by asking if she could apply for the position of my sixth best friend!