Behave yourself

I had some advice yesterday on how to handle Joshua’s behaviour, since he has started to smack my arm or kick out, typically when he is objecting to something or if he is craving attention I think. I had a telephone conversation with the Children’s learning Disability Team before Christmas and I was invited along to hear some ‘pointers’ on how best to handle this change in his behaviour. We are all agreed that he is trying to communicate something and he needs to be shown a more socially acceptable means of saying what he wants to say. when you are virtually non-verbal and do not sign, you have limited resources at your disposal to communicate with and objecting with a hit to the arm, might seem an obvious one.

Most of the strategies that the two learning Disability nurses showed me, were already in place with school, where I have already had a couple of meetings to discuss this change. I had been tolerating his smacking and kicking until it moved beyond just me, to include teaching assistants at school and Yorkshire Grandma on one occasion that I was working away. The nurses were full of praise for what I had been trying and for the support that school had shown us. They too suggested visual support to help Joshua to process what was happening ‘now’ and ‘next’ and equipped me with some pictures of things that we might do at home. I have said before, Joshua is all about the here and now and so I am not sure how he will handle the concept of ‘next’ but we will certainly be trying it out both at home and at school.

They also gave me a presentation on my reactions to his behaviour and I explained that wherever possible, I walk away from him once he has smacked me, to deliberately remove my attention. More often than not, he is delighted to see me back again after the ‘timeout’ and we can start dressing or undressing again, for example., without any more incidents. The nurses suggested that an egg timer could be introduced to show him the length of time that I will be gone for. Again, I can give that a try but I am really not sure if he understands the concept of passing time, but let’s see. It will at least ensure that I am consistent in how long I stay away for if I am timing it.  The timeout is not for him to think about what he has done particularly, as you are taught when they are tantruming toddlers, but more to show him that his response does not result in any attention, so it is not worth repeating.

They produced a star reward chart too, that he gets something he loves, like his guitar or Donald’s, after he has earned five good behaviour stars. I am not convinced that this is the best way forward with Joshua, as I doubt that he would grasp the reward concept and my priority is to get him to communicate in a more appropriate way, rather than getting him to conform necessarily. But I appreciate their thoughts on how best to tackle this stage in Joshua’s development. The timing seems right to intervene while it is at a low level and hopefully we can redirect him in time for him moving onto adult daycare, away from his ‘safe’ school environment where he is known and he is popular. A new respite or daycare provision will not have that history on him, to know that he did not always communicate with little kicks or smacks, and I am determined that he does not start off there, wherever there might be, on the wrong foot.

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