Separation Anxiety

It is Joshua’s final respite weekend as a child , and weeks ago I planned for us to make the most of it by going overseas one more time without him for a long weekend. I set up the flights and accommodation, organised overnight care for him last night and found three generous volunteers prepared to be his emergency contact while we were away so all was set and I was excited by the prospect of our mini break.

Then we had the frightening events a couple of weekends ago , when Joshua’s seizures landed him in hospital and they’ve been unpredictable and troublesome ever since. So of course now I am afraid to be this far away. I know that his respite provision will take good care of him and everyone knows what to do if his seizures kick off again . I know that , should he end up in hospital again, he will not be alone and that my emergency stand- ins will quickly rally round him. But in truth, should that happen, I will not be able to stay away and I will be seeking a flight home as soon as possible. I dashed back by train at the end of October last time it happened and I’d find a way to get back again.

So I had got my head around it all and had my bags packed , when yesterday at 4.50 while I was still at work, I had a text from another Mum telling me that her son’s respite weekend , at the same place, had been cancelled due to staff shortages caused by illness. I panicked as we were leaving for the airport in around an hour , once Yorkshire Grandma had arrived. I assumed that my choices were to cancel our trip or to take Joshua too. I love him very much but inevitably taking him too was not the relaxing trip that I had planned. So I called the manager of the respite provision to enquire and she confirmed that his weekend was still going ahead, they had kindly taken our known holiday into account . So I recovered from that blip and we headed off as planned. We fly later this morning, when our adventure begins .

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