Yesterday was an important step in Joshua’s respite story, as he had his first visit to his recently approved Adult Short Breaks provision. I took him there for 9 am and he was certainly curious about where we were driving too and he hesitated to get out of the car when we arrived. But with some encouragement, he climbed out of the car and we walked towards the door. I rang the bell and he was then inpatient to get inside and he pushed past me to try the door handle, which is what he was doing when the manager came to let him in. He smiled at the three staff members and marched through into the lounge. He kept hugging me for reassurance but he was not unhappy to be there and remained in the armchair waving, as I left, promising to return three hours later.
When I did return at midday, he was pleased to see me and began waving goodbye to the staff. They told me what he had been doing and had some very sensible questions about what some of his gestures might mean and we discussed offering him choices. Joshua began to kick my shins, just gently, as a hint that he was ready to go and to stop talking. He did not say anything to the team but he did utter a ‘thank you’ once back in the car. He will return tomorrow for a slightly longer stay, which we have been promised will involve a trip to Donald’s – they know how to win him over.
I was anxious about the new setting , it felt the same as when he started at nursery all those years ago : How will they know what he is asking for? Will he be afraid of these strangers?Will he be upset by the change? Will they take good care of my precious boy? And the same as most new settings, he took it all in his stride of course, he is much more adaptable than I am.
Joshua has had several respite places in his life : the first Special School that he moved to when he was 7, had a residence attached to the school. I was very resistant at first but after a few months, he began to stay on Monday evenings and he loved the hustle and bustle and it saved his long journey to school on Tuesday mornings. But we left that school in Spring 2011 and so we were left without any respite for a full year , while our social worker sought an alternative provision. In 2012 he began to stay at a local authority home one weekend in four and that worked well, until the company changed the property’s use to Adults residential.
We then had a 9 month gap again while we had to go out of area to find any suitable children’s respite facilities. Our social worker gave me two places to look around in a neighbouring county, both would be at least an hour away from home. I fell instantly in love with the first one that I looked around; the team leader opened the door and asked me if I could walk like a penguin? I laughed and said that I could and immediately felt that both I and Joshua would fit in well here, so I declined to view the other alternative, as I had found what I was looking for. Joshua had a slow, phased introduction and it worked out brilliantly at the provision where he currently goes for monthly short breaks. Joshua adores the staff and the feeling seems to be mutual. They are planning a leaving party for him next month on his final weekend, after 3.5 years of monthly visits, and I will be bringing cake and tissues.
But nothing stays the same forever, things change and he has to move on, to allow the next youngster to experience the joy that he has felt while there. I was delighted with our first visit and although Joshua was shy, he took it all in his stride. It is a sign of his increasing maturity that he is slight more reticent of strangers than he once was and a great indication of his increased awareness of what is going on around him. Three years ago, Joshua was mostly asleep, they had to plan activities around his daytime sleeping patterns, so he really did not care where he was, so long as they had a comfortable settee. Today’s Joshua is much more lively and aware, but he has always found a way to charm his carers. Right back when he was 4 years old, the Headteacher of his nursery school had written about him ” Joshua has a way to win hearts”, she spotted his skill that early on and he has never lost it, in fact he has finely honed this skill as he has got older. It is the best tool that he has at his disposal and I am confident it will help him throughout the rest of his life.