For the last 5 weeks, I have been dashing  around juggling hospital visiting, a busy time at work and our home life. I have been spending all of my days off plus at least another weekday visiting Mum and so it felt very odd to be at home yesterday, on my Friday off. I began sneezing on Tuesday night and that was joined with a sore throat and earache by Thursday, so now I am in the midst of a cold, which means that I feel lousy but more importantly, I have to stay away from Mum, as I cannot risk infecting her while she is so ill. My head knows that is the case but my heart was pulling yesterday, as I had not seen her since Tuesday. We heard that she had felt really unwell on Thursday and so her limited texting, had almost stopped altogether. So yesterday I had to be patient: I had to wait for Mum to reply to my texts or for my sister to arrive as a hospital visitor to report back and in the end both came around the same time and it was with relief that I heard that yesterday was a better day than the one before.

We have been spoiled with technology, as in the old days, pre-mobile phones, you had to ring the ward and they would wheel a telephone to the patient, if you were lucky but more likely, you had to visit to get news of the patient. But we now have email and a whats app group to spread updates throughout the family, which is a much easier way to communicate than to have to telephone everyone after visiting, which is exhausting, time consuming and inconsistent. But Mum was not well enough to update us these past two days and she cannot receive wifi where her bed is in the ward, so that even if she was feeling well enough to send emails, they do not send until she has the benefit of one of our hotspots. I did try calling the ward for an update on Thursday night but nobody answered the telephone and I know from experience, how busy the nurses are on Mum’s ward, so I did not let the phone ring, unanswered, for too long.

I like to know what is happening with my loved ones at all times, so today I will rely on my Aunt who is visiting to update me on Mum later today. I will also be wondering what is happening with Joshua as he has his first overnight stay at his new adult respite service tonight, as he will be staying there from midday today to midday tomorrow. I will call them tonight around 9 pm for an update on how he is doing, but then I will have to leave them to it until I collect him the next day. I will work on the basis of no news is good news there as they have my contact numbers if they have a problem or need me to collect him early. Whereas yesterday with Mum, I felt that no news was bad news when she was not responding to our texts as I imagined that she felt too ill to bother with texting. In both cases, I am going to have to let go and wait patiently to be informed, which is a skill that I need to work on for the future.

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