Ever since Mum died last week, everyone has been saying how busy we must be and I have to admit, it has made me slightly nervous, as we were not particularly busy after we initially rang round family and friends to break the sad news. But today we are collecting her death certificate, registering Mum’s death and then going to see the funeral director to begin proceedings, so today will be a busy , and emotional, day. My sister and I came to Mum’s house last night, to be together and to be able to have a full day on these tasks. It did not feel odd to me to come to her empty house, instead I found it comforting to be surrounded by Mum’s possessions how she left them 7 weeks ago when she left for hospital as everything is so familiar.
Mum was a very organised and efficient lady and so we were confident that her paperwork would be in order for us to find. So we went straight to her file named ‘Wills’ to find some of her funeral wishes – not as many as we had expected actually. We knew that she had been preparing for these days for the last 5 years, since our Dad’s death, as she has been de-cluttering too. Mum was always thinking of others and never wanted to be a burden to her two daughters, which of course, she never could be.
Once again I have thought how lucky I am to be here with my sister, as she is probably the only other person who knows exactly how I am feeling and exactly how much of a loss we are facing. We had a pleasant evening talking and opening the condolence cards that had been delivered here. I lit the fire that Mum had laid, as the house seemed cold when I arrived at first and I had brought a bouquet and candle from a kind friend, so the lounge looked cosy and welcoming when my sister arrived.
I have talked before about the various hats that we wear in life : today I have taken my mother, wife and employee hats off, the only hats that I will be wearing today are those of sister and daughter.