Today is 2nd of June and I feel as though I missed May somehow, where did it go? Joshua’s half term school holiday has come and gone, yet I seem to have missed it. Mum has not been around for over a week now and yet it seems a lifetime ago that she died as the last ten days have been the worst of my life. Those 11 days with Joshua in special care, when we received his brain damage diagnosis, were tough days, but we had our new baby to see us through and I had my Mum by my side. The time we spent in hospital when Dad was dying were hard, but we had already lost him to dementia years earlier and once again, we had Mum by our sides.
She has been a constant in my life, through good and bad times : we always celebrated every family birthday together – I am so glad that she shared in Joshua’s 18th birthday celebrations in March – , she has stayed with us for the last few Christmases too and is always a perfect and helpful house -guest and we had a wonderful Mothers Day lunch out with my sister, mother in law, husband and Joshua and that was another happy day.
We have over a week to go before Mum’s funeral and over the past few days we have made huge progress to making her funeral into a celebration of her life well lived. My sister and I have organised things with the funeral director and we have sorted out the venue for the refreshments after the church service. Yesterday I booked a violinist from a music group that Mum loved, to play as guests come into and leave the church and that will be really special. We began the process of choosing caterers but we have a very specific idea of what we are looking for, an event that Mum would enjoy and approve of so we need to get that choice right. My sister and I will meet the minister next week to discuss the service itself and we will start to pull the Order of Service together with some family photographs.
It has been helpful to have this focus on Mum’s funeral and to forget everything else that will need to be done eventually, but we are in no rush to deal with the house or Mum’s finances. I do worry that we will both fall off a cliff after the funeral, but I know on that day, we will be surrounded by love and support – as we have been since she died to be honest. I like to think that Mum’s spirit is still around supporting and comforting us, and giving us a gentle smack – like Joshua – when we begin to wallow too much in self pity. We can do this!