Our Mum died on 24 May and today is her funeral, the day that we have been working towards since then. In one way I want the day to be over, so that we can move on beyond it, as it has dominated our thoughts and deeds for so long. But in other ways, I am dreading it, as it bring’s Mum’s death into sharp focus and I am not sure how we face life after today, life without her in it. Either way, today has arrived and I know that we will be surrounded by love and support .
We collected Joshua from school at 3.15 and drove to Mum’s house in the rain, where my sister was waiting. Joshua stepped into the house, then broke my heart by searching for his Granny: he rushed into the lounge expecting to see her in her usual chair, peeped into the front room then ran into the kitchen, where she was bound to be making his tea. I hugged him tightly and told him again that Granny had gone, that he would not find her. Once again, I have been comforted by Mum’s house being just as she left it months ago, when she went into hospital, but it was my husband’s first time here too. He found her garden to be the saddest, emptiest place, but Joshua accepted her absence and stopped searching for her.
We had a cup of tea together and my husband lit a fire to make it more cosy, but then we went out to a local hotel where much of Mum’s family – two of her three sisters and their family – were staying. We joined them for pre-dinner drinks in the hotel bar, so that we had seen them all before the funeral and I am glad that we did that : there were no tears, just lots of hugs and love. As they sat down to eat, we came away and went back to Mum’s house and within half an hour, Joshua was tucked up in bed and my Aunt and Uncle from Dad’s side of the family, came round for a drink and to kindly deliver homemade cake for this afternoon.
With all of our friends and family willing today to be a celebration of Mum’s life, I am certain that we will do her proud. We will say our goodbyes and will share fond memories of a very special lady who will be greatly missed. We keep being told how well we are doing, so lets hope we find the strength to get through this very emotional day.