I saw on Facebook yesterday that several of Joshua’s peers had sat their last A level examination and so their high school career’s were over and university would be , all being well, beckoning them in the Autumn. I wish them well and hope that they get the A Level results that they need to progress. I am able to be pleased for them, while at the same time, being sad for Joshua, that he is not on the brink of the same exciting experience. Before Joshua was born, we would have expected our offspring to go to university, like his parents, to complete a degree and go on to develop a career. But those hopes were dashed when he was 4 days old, when we had to adjust our expectations, to focus on achieving more basic milestones such as walking and talking. I have had 18 years to adjust my expectations , so this realisation is not as painful as it might once have been.
I am very thankful that Joshua has the benefit of an additional year at school still. I am attending an Open morning at school tomorrow, and I already have a list of questions for his teacher about his year ahead. When he joined 6th form two years ago – where did that time fly to? – they were clear that 6th form was all about preparation to leave school and certainly we seem to be on the home straits now. I am hoping that school staff will be able to guide us through our search for appropriate daycare. Having recently searched for , and found, respite locally, I am more confident than I was this time last year. I am also more confident in Joshua’s ability to adapt and embrace a new provision. He has made me very proud over how well he has taken to his new respite provision, without so much as a backward glance. Surely staying somewhere overnight for the first time, must be more daunting than going somewhere for 6 hours in the day, and he has taken his weekends away, totally in his stride.
I find that it is not helpful to spend too much time speculating over what might have been. It is much more useful to focus on where we are now and the road we are travelling on, rather than still dreaming of the detour we might have taken once and where we might have ended up. My Mum was pragmatic like that, she would not have entertained any fanciful daydreaming about what should or could have happened, she would have kept me on the path where we are and would be cheering from the sidelines, every step of the way. So that is what we are going to do, play out the cards that we have been dealt and celebrate every success along the way.