Joshua does not get to choose much for himself in his life : I decide what he will eat for his meals, where he will go and what he will wear for instance. I try to give him choices between two alternatives but more often than not, I make decisions for him. But yesterday morning we went out on a walk together and I let him determine what we did. My husband had cycled to a vintage car show and we left the dogs at home,so there was just the two of us to please.
We stepped out of the gate and Joshua could choose whether to go right , up the hill to the high street or left, downhill towards the beach? He chose the easier option of downhill so off we went, me holding on tight as it was steep and he was almost running down. Joshua selected a left turn at the bottom of the hill and we headed towards the pier, I had planned to go to the regatta to see what was going on on the seafront, but Joshua had other ideas: he dragged me onto the pier. Once inside I let go of his hand and let him lead the way; he wove through the various slot machines and computer games, halting briefly by the ten pin bowling to watch the familiar sounds – he goes bowling with school. But then he headed onwards again to the cafe where we ate tea last week and he went to sit down at the same table, but unfortunately it was occupied and I intervened, and moved him along by one table. He crossed his legs as if to say he was staying, so I ordered myself a mug of tea and him a bowl of chips and an orange juice, which came quickly and he tucked in.
He decided when he had had enough and took off back towards the amusements. I could see that it was now pouring so I was in no hurry to move him on. He hovered by a baseball game where for 50 pence, you got 45 seconds of throwing two basketballs into a hoop. So I found a pound coin and he enjoyed two games. At first, he wanted to throw the ball outwards, towards the amusements but he soon learned that the game was to aim at the basket and he even got a few in the target. He was enjoying the game so much, that I changed a £5 note and he had another ten games!. It was so lovely to find something that he was enjoying and focused on and something that he had chosen, that we had a great time.
After the money was gone, he wandered towards the exit but saw the rain and changed his mind. Instead he turned around and he went into the bar where we had stopped for a drink the other night – he may have been looking for his Dad. But I bought us an orange juice between us and we sat by the window looking out at the sea. He had a few sips but was not really interested in the drink, so we left and we walked back up the hill to the house. He stopped just once when we were almost back, but I was able to persuade him that we were almost home. Once back, he curled up on the settee and we were both satisfied with our morning’s entertainment. I was thrilled that he had made his own choices and played on the pier amusements, like other teenagers do.