Patience is a Virtue

As Joshua has grown older, he has become less patient , so is now more demanding and less compliant than he was when he was younger. I have written a lot about how much he enjoys eating out these days. However, once he has completed his meal, no matter what stage the rest of his party are at, he will be ready to leave the table and move on. So often I either rush my food or have to leave it, as Joshua has dragged me away. He struggles with the waiting around before his food arrives and has no interest in sitting politely waiting for his fellow diners to finish.

Last night Yorkshire Grandma brought him back , already fed, late, while I was in the process of preparing our evening meal. Joshua took me by the hand and dragged me away from the cooker, upstairs as he wanted his bath. I explained that he would have to wait as we had not eaten , so I set him up in his bedroom watching a Bruce Springsteen DVD, while I finished cooking. True to form , just as my husband and I sat down to eat, Joshua appeared ,trying to pull me upstairs again. He was adamant over what he wanted and was not interested in either distraction or a rational argument or negotiation. As a result , I gobbled my tea down quickly so that I could run his bath as he was not going to stop nagging until he got his own way.

This is a self – centred way of life that does not take any account of the feelings of others and so it is not an outlook that I want to encourage. The trouble is that as an only child, Joshua has not had to share his parents’ attention or to fit in too much with others. He can use negative behaviour to object to having to wait , such as kicking the car or front door to indicate that he is ready to go, or slamming the door on the landing to get me to run upstairs to attend to his needs, and both are highly effective objections. While I am pleased that Joshua can identify and communicate what he wants, we need to develop his patience and his appreciation that the world does not solely revolve around him, but I have to be patient , as that might take a little more time !

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