I have booked today off work as I have a couple of big things to do : Firstly it is the first time that I will meet Joshua’s teacher for a proper discussion about him, his behaviour and his progress as there is an Open Morning at school. I have made a list of my questions that have occurred to me over the last few weeks about his last year at school.We are only allocated a 15 minute slot and I am the first of her class parents, so I must try not to talk too much so that she overruns all morning, but that might be quite a challenge as Joshua is one of my favourite topics to talk about and I like to know all about the times when I am apart from him.
I specifically asked for the first appointment of the day, so that I can then drive over to meet my sister as we are going to see the solicitor this afternoon to sign off Mum’s estate paperwork. It feels as though I have not seen my sister for forever,so much so that I had to check the calendar and it has been almost a month, but it felt much longer. So we have long overdue hugs and face to face catch ups, as they are always better than telephone calls. But after that famine, it is a feast as I will see her again at the weekend for my niece’s birthday party, so that is a bonus. My mobile phone reminded me of her birthday party last year yesterday, as it sent me photos of our smiling mum in my sister’s conservatory. So it will feel strange that she is not there this weekend as she always made the effort to get together for her grandchildren’s birthdays. I imagine that these family parties, with her empty seat, will get easier as time passes, but for now , each one is a milestone and we have Christmas to face yet, when our festive spirit will be seriously challenged.
When a loved one dies, or another traumatic event such as days spent in a special care baby unit, when you emerge out of the other side, it always feels so strange that the rest of the world is carrying on regardless, they have not been impacted by the same blow as you and their life seems to be continuing on normally. That is a shocking revelation at first: But then you realise , especially if you spend a lot of time around hospitals, that families are experiencing bad health news and loss every day of the week and that you are not the only one at all who has felt that isolation at all. In fact it can be a bonding experience, if people share their experiences of grief or there are support groups for families who’s lives have been devastated by a particular diagnosis , prognosis or condition and strength and support can be found there.
But for now, we just do the best that we can everyday ; I try to be kind to people, as we really have no idea of the worries and concerns that they are facing, and so a smile ,kind word or sweet treat might be just the thing to improve their day and distract them, if only momentarily.