From Outside In

For the second Sunday running, I have felt that my weekend was cut short by work commitments and I have had to leave my boys to fend for themselves during the afternoon. Even though I did not need to set off until around 4 pm, I found that it played on my mind all day, holding me back somehow. We all three of us took the dogs out for a walk in the park around 3 pm and enjoyed some fresh air and sliding around in the mud, created by all of the recent rain. Joshua was reluctant at first, he is not as keen on the outdoors as he once was, but he enjoyed throwing a plastic ring for the dogs to chase, so everyone was happy.

As Joshua has grown older, and possibly his circulation has deteriorated, he has been less enthusiastic to go outside, despite being wrapped up warm. He now seems to feel as though a walk on the beach or in the park or even a shopping trip, is only a means to get to a cafe, to get outdoors and sit down again! When school take him to an allotment, I have seen photographs of him sheltering in the shed, laughing. There are daycare options that involve working outdoors in either a farm caring for animals or at a nursery, working with plants, but neither would interest or suit our son. He likes his comforts : to be warm and sitting down mostly.

Joshua’s circulation is such that his fingers and feet are often icy cold – his finger nails can turn blue –  and when he reaches that point, no amount of central heating will warm him up, only a hot bath will do the trick. He has got into a routine that once he has had his evening meal, he expects a bath. If we try to delay it until later in the evening, he simply goes upstairs and runs the taps himself – with no plug in – but it is a pretty clear communication of what he wants. So he can often be clean and in his pyjamas by around 6 pm. But then, he is not planning on going out again and this is a good way of guaranteeing it! I too, if I have had a long or tough day, will like to change into my pyjamas once I get home, as it is very comforting attire, so possibly Joshua feels the same.

I find that clothes can make you feel certain things, they set the tone. I tend to wear bright colours if I need my mood to be lifted for more brightness, pyjamas are cosy and relaxing. Today, where I need a confidence boost at work, I am dressed more smartly than usual, to give off confident vibes in a presentation situation, it is called ‘power dressing’. Our clothes can say a lot about how we feel or wish to be seen : tomorrow Joshua is invited to wear off socks to school, to celebrate difference. I will choose his socks but I am really not sure that Joshua will even notice or care, he seems to have self confidence, whatever he is wearing, which is how it should be.

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