Memories may be Beautiful and yet….

As I have been coming here on holiday all of my life, the house and area are packed full of memories of my childhood and of when Joshua was a baby too, and my late parents feature in most of those memories. They were all happy times and mostly with blue skies and the sun shining. I feel especially close to my parents here and that must be part of its appeal. Each time we go to a cafe or restaurant that we have been to before, we talk about previous visits : the time, for example, that Mum told my husband off as she thought he had bought her a full pint of cider , rather than the half she had requested! The time we sat outside on Culver Down after we had scattered Dad’s ashes in 2015, when we toasted his afterlife and shed some tears or at the same pub, when there was a plague of ladybirds which fascinated little Joshua as they landed on his hand . Thankfully although decor may alter, places maintain their feel and therefore their memories.

Yesterday we went to a restaurant along the cliff path from us and the memories extend even further back than my own childhood : My mother in law, when she was a teenager, used to visit this cafe during Methodist Church youth group holidays – 68 years ago she worked out! There were some black and white photographs on the wall showing how it might have looked back then, which I photographed and sent to her. We had gone to the same venue for a lunch in the garden on a hot day ,with my third best friend, when she had visited when Joshua was just two years old. Her parents lived across the water and so she caught the passenger ferry and came for the day. She bought Joshua a toy called ‘Find the Puppy’, which he still plays every time that he comes here, 19 years later! In fact he brought it to me to be switched on, while I was still unpacking the car when we arrived!

I have such strong memories here and I hope that Joshua has happy memories from his childhood too. I know that he loves this place and he finds it familiar ; he knows which is his bedroom for instance, he knows where the beach is and he knows he has a fun game here. But does he have happy memories of holidays shared with Granny and Grandpa or the time his Aunt and cousin flew down to join us for the weekend? Of sitting on the wall with Granny watching the carnival endlessly parade by or going on the pier with Nanna and Grandad? Will he remember the recent time when he literally dragged his Dad onto the bumper cars at the end of the pier, out of the blue? I will never know that, as he does not have the language to express a memory like that, he can only show me through his actions.

Joshua lives in the ‘here and now’; it is all about what is happening presently, not looking backwards at what has gone before or looking forwards to what might be to come. In many ways that is probably a healthy way to live your life , to just focus on the present. I know that he loves it here now, so that will suffice and I will continue to reminisce enough for both of us.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s