Patience is a Virtue

I tested positive for Covid-19 on Tuesday evening this week and I had a number of reactions to the finding that my cold symptoms were actually the dreaded virus that we have been trying to dodge for over two years now :

  • I was cross that it had caught me at last after years of taking such precautions to keep us all safe. We shielded Joshua throughout this pandemic, not risking sending him back to school in June 2020 when he was invited back on a part time basis and not taking up daycare as soon as it re-opened, waiting until we deemed it to be safe enough this year. I have no idea where I have contracted this virus, it must be from a stranger as I am not aware that I have had any contact with anyone with the virus
  • I was upset that I had potentially risked the health of my Aunts, sister, brother in law and cousin by attending Sunday’s party and not knowing that I was brewing this virus. I had no symptoms then and I had a negative result so should not have been infectious but even so….
  • I was concerned how we were going to keep Joshua safe and continue to look after him at home. I immediately cancelled daycare as he could not risk infecting his fellow learners or the staff there. But as he tested negative, would he actually be safer out of the house and away from me? I could not imagine how he would tolerate a whole week indoors and yet keep him away from me. I worried that, because he had needed emergency medication on Monday night for seizures that would not stop, I had slept next to him for most of the night, not knowing that I was infectious, so I feared that his infection was inevitable.
  • I checked the calendar and had to cancel other plans : Joshua’s final birthday celebration – an afternoon tea – should have happened today and I cancelled our haircuts. Riding for the Disabled is due to re-start on Monday and I have warned them that we may not be fit enough to go. It seemed unfair that after waiting to do these things for so long, that it was now me who was preventing them from going ahead.
  • I was irritated as it meant that I was going to have to miss the School Mums meet-up that I had planned on Wednesday. I had already warned them the day before that I had cold symptoms, but when I said that, I did not really believe that I had Covid-19. I felt bad for letting them down and encouraged them to go along anyway, and thankfully, four did and had a good time
  • I felt relieved that all three of us are triple jabbed, so have as much protection as the vaccinations can possibly give us. I did not, as I might have done in 2020, jump to the conclusion that I was going to end up in hospital and probably die of this disease. Instead I was prepared for some unpleasant illness for a short time and then, normal service would be resumed.
  • And on top of all of those feelings, I felt poorly too. I just had a sore throat on Monday but by Tuesday my nose was streaming and my head was banging. It was the fact that I felt so bad that caused me to take a test and the second pink line appeared immediately, I have never seen that before and expected it to appear gradually, but there was no doubt at all.

So how have we managed so far?

Pretty well I would say, neither Joshua or my husband have any cold symptoms as yet . We will all do a Lateral flow test today as it is my day 5 from the start of symptoms and we need to check out if either of the ‘boys’ are now infectious – my husband was not yesterday. I have needed to sleep more than usual and my husband has taken Joshua away so that I have spent most afternoons dozing in my bed or, one day, in our caravan as an isolation ward. Joshua has been kind and has laid in most mornings, so he has not needed any attention until after 10.30, when my husband has given him his porridge. I have not been able to stay out of his way totally but I have tried to limit contact and hugs, which does not come naturally. Yesterday afternoon he was really pleased with himself when he found me in bed, he climbed on and passed me ‘Lady’ – which is his name for Julia Donaldson’s Squash & Squeeze . So I read to him in my croaky voice, happy with that, he then left and went back downstairs to enjoy his music.

I am hopeful that I am on the mend, but I know that this virus takes swift changes of direction and can lull you into a false sense of security, so I am taking nothing for granted. On Wednesday I could do nothing at all, but yesterday I managed a short sunrise walk under a clear blue sky and was rewarded with plenty of barn owl sightings and I made some soup . I hope to walk again later today, but I know not to overdo it and risk knocking myself backwards, so I have to be patient, which is not my greatest virtue when it comes to myself. My husband remarks that I have boundless patience for Joshua but very little for anything else in my life, which is true I think. So I have to constantly remind myself to take things easy and to try to allow him to do things his way, leaving him in peace in the kitchen , rather than hovering about, interfering. It is not easy for someone who is normally in control, to release the reins, but it is good for all of us I believe and I am lucky to have such an attentive, if a little bossy, nurse.

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