Where did that Go?

This time last week, we were packing up the car to come away on holiday and now we are on our last full day here! In the blink of an eye our holiday has flown by and we still have not done everything that we planned to do : we had that lovely walk together, when we arrived and I thought we would aim to take Joshua out walking every night! We have only done that once, mostly once Joshua has got back in at night, after a trip out, he curls up on the settee and it would be a struggle to get him out again. He was happy to do it on our first evening here as he had spent all those hours sitting in the car all day, but when he has had a busy day, he is less enthusiastic. We have not yet completed some of our favourite walks or eaten at our preferred restaurants – instead yesterday we discovered a new place for lunch that was unbelievably good, sitting under the blue sky looking at the turquoise sea and eating delicious food.

But it is not just this week that has flown by, all year has. Incredibly, we are almost at the longest day next month and then the days begin to shorten again. Soon somebody will be asking about plans for Christmas! Where has the first half of this year gone? It has been much busier than the previous two years but even so, it has flown by at an unbelievable rate.

But then it is not just this year that has flown by; next week it will be the third anniversary of Mum dying. How can that be true? How can we have survived without her, still missing her every single day, for a whole three years. We have had three Christmases without her around our table and we have celebrated 3 of her birthdays on September 11th, in her honour. I am going out to lunch on 24th of May with my dear sister, and we will toast Mum together and exchange our favourite memories of her, trying not to recall that terrible morning three years earlier.

How can Joshua be 21 years old already? When did all those years clock up? It does not seem long enough ago that Joshua was born, as those terrifying 11 days in SCBU are still so fresh and vivid in my memory. I conjure up the noises and smells of that emotional ward instantly and I have a clear picture in my mind of Katie , our neo natal nurse. No, there must be some mistake, am I really old enough to have an adult son? In my mind, I still feel like I did in my 20s, when my husband and I made the move after graduation and started new lives in a new region and began new jobs. Yet, after 31 years I have retired from that same job and I am embracing my retirement fully.

This is why we must treasure every day because they fly by at such an alarming rate, so we need to indeed make hay while the sun shines. None of us know what is lurking around the corner for us, be it good or bad, so lets just try to make each day count.

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