Joshua employs a range of strategies to gain attention, some of them are positive and some are more negative, but his intention is still pretty clear. He expects to be the main focus at home, and to be fair he usually is, and he is starting to feel the same way at school too. He has used hand gestures for some time: even at primary school he gave his peers rough high 5s and I had to teach him to tone it down, for the sake of the smaller children, and we deveoped a ‘zoob’ which only involved a mini high 5 with just one finger and that lasted for a while. The trouble is that I am sure he enjoys the smack noise and the burn on his hand after the gesture, so I have been unable to wean him off it permanently.
Joshua has been through stages of waving and more recently, at pointing at someone to catch their eye, across a room for instance he would pick someone out. Last week he began to adopt a proper wave again. As he pulled out of the drive in his taxi, he gave me a royal wave rather like the Queen. He also has a new hand gesture, when he turns his hand out, palm up, as though he is saying ‘ta-dah’, which I love. When I took him into school last week, he stood at reception as though he was a meeter and greeter, beaming at the pupils as they arrived at school. He seemed to be saying ‘welcome…Look at me!’ So it seems that we have raised a show off.
However he has more negative gestures too, perhaps when that attention-seeking is not rewarded with a response. His favourite at the moment seems to be a kick to the ankles. It is not a painful kick, not overly aggressive, but he is saying ‘Oiiii’ with it and it is insistent too, accompanied with a twinkle in his eye. I have been on the receiving end of several kicks lately and I read in his diary that he has employed the same technique on staff at school too.
So now we need to work out how to teach him to communicate in a more socially acceptable way and to realise that he cannot be the centre of attention in every situation and at all times. This promises to be an interesting journey…