It is odd but since our Mum died, both my sister and I have found ourselves reflecting much more on Dad , who died 5 years ago now. I , like Mum, have christian faith and so I know that my parents are re-united, pain-free, in heaven, so that makes death much more tolerable. My tears of grief are actually for myself and others, rather than for Mum, as we will miss her, but her soul, I am confident, is in heaven , where it will last forever.Her presence is all around us : my sister met a portion of rainbow over her house, when there was no rain, when she arrived home on Friday evening and nobody will convince me that was not Mum comforting her. Last night as it was almost going dark, my husband and I walked to see a white birch tree that we had planted with Mum’s vouchers for Joshua’s 18th birthday, on her instructions ; the moon was full and silver and the sky was a beautiful pink, the whole scene was ethereal.
Our Mum and Dad were a great team, a wonderful partnership, as we were growing up. They complemented each other and I cannot recall any cross words , ever, in our household. My Dad would mutter if he was unhappy about something, but there were no raised voices, and I am much the same, as I detest shouting. They were a calm, honest, reliable presence throughout our lives and now I am happy to try to step into those big shoes that have been left empty.
Joshua’s Dad has really had taken on a lot of responsibility lately; as well as grieving himself, as he adored our Mum, he has been there in support of my sister and me , as well as taking on a greater childcare role than usual. So all of his husband, brother in law and father duties have increased, to allow me to fully focus on the loss of my Mum and I am really grateful for that. At Mum’s house on Thursday, he could even be found hoovering, which is a rare sight, and he went to the shops to buy the ingredients for and cooked my sister and I, fajitas on Thursday evening, when we thought that we did not really feel hungry. He has fallen into the background in a solid supporting role, just exactly as we needed. I don’t think that ‘Husbands Day’ or ‘Brother in law Day’ exist, so we will just make a fuss of him today, on Fathers’ Day instead.